Corona - Mask Mayhem

I’ve been changing my mind about a lot of things.  And masks have played a large role in my road to self-discovery.  I am noticing that they also reveal a great deal about everyone else.

Piles of Masks

Way back, in the beginning – well, okay, in March of this year, the fear of mask shortages for healthcare workers was becoming a great concern.  As is true with every manner of crisis, entrepreneurs and people with soft hearts (these are not mutually exclusive, by the way), began churning out masks as fast as possible.  Some people saw it as their way to help in this war against our “invisible enemy” and others saw it as a way to bring in some money.  No judgement here, I’m merely reporting.

Elastic very quickly became hard or impossible to find.  I was fascinated with the unending creativity of the producers of these necessary, but suffocating, accessories.  Elastic hairbands quickly disappeared from store shelves as they were put into good use.  Ties were fashioned from fabric and every conceivable method of keeping our breathing hampered was explored.

Jaimee' and Paisley at the doctor

Research varies wildly and even as I write this I’m not sure what the last five minutes may have produced in the way of dispelling everyone’s claims to the truth about masks.  Sifting through all of it (or rather a small variety of it since I would not be able to read it all unless I quit my job and stare at the computer 24/7), I have reached my own conclusions.  Some things are no-brainers.  Social distancing works.  Wash your hands.  Don’t touch your face. And if you feel sick STAY HOME! But masks?  That’s inconclusive.  

I believe everyone should make up their own mind and take responsibility for their own safety.  And they should LEAVE EVERYONE ELSE ALONE.  The danger of masks goes much deeper than a virus.  Our differing opinions are becoming an excuse to behave abominably to our fellow humans.

If you feel angry that other people are not wearing a mask when you go out and about in full protective gear, please wait to vent your anger until after you have returned home, and stripped off all your clothing before entering and contaminating your house.  Then you may scream as you stand naked in your garage; it is much more satisfying to do so without something muffling your mouth.  And if your fear of this virus overshadows your fear of an Orwellian society, maybe you should stay home.  Forever. 

If you refuse to wear a mask and believe those who would never be seen in public without them are virtue signaling, SO WHAT??!!  Nobody cares what you think, really.  If you don’t want to wear a mask you don’t have to make a big deal about it.  Just don’t wear one and for pity’s sake don’t breathe in other people’s space.  No one wants to get closer than six feet to you anyway.  Seriously, a mask is much less offensive than some of the get-ups I’ve seen when I was at Walmart way back before this plague hit.  But, I digress. . .

Jaimee Smiling? Afraid? Surprised? Who knows?

Maybe if we could all just imagine that the person wearing or not wearing has issues they don’t have explained on their t-shirts, we could have a little more compassion.  Maybe the person dressed like a beekeeper has a seriously compromised immune system, lives too far out of town for grocery deliveries, and has ungrateful offspring off on a closed beach somewhere celebrating spring break.  Maybe the person NOT covered is terror stricken at the very thought of strapping something to their face because they are claustrophobic, have asthma, or are convinced it’s a government plot to feed us to the Matrix. If either of these scenarios is true, these people are in need of a kind word and a friendly smile, not your unsolicited, unqualified judgement.  If you are wearing, you might need to tell them you’re smiling though.

Then there’s that guy proudly sporting his respiratory protection, firmly fastened under his nose.  Sorry Buddy, you’re wasting your effort on that one.  Repeatedly adjusting it with your questionably clean hands is exponentially increasing your risks as well.  I don’t need a scientific study to prove me right.  I wonder if by any chance this guy is married to the woman who wears a mask when she’s alone in her car with all the windows rolled up.  The woman who feels called to gesture in disapproving anger to those outside in the open air breathing deeply of the freshness she can only dream about.

Now that all employees in Ohio are being told they must wear a mask while on the job, unless of course they shouldn’t wear one, (yes it basically says this in the fine print of the proclamation), shopping is more interesting than ever.  My daughter was picking up some “essential” items last week and her heart filled with pity for the cashier.  Drenched in sweat, she had obviously dug into her husband’s hunting closet, finding a dark, thick thing that covered most of her face and was likely a complete failure as virus protection.  She was misery personified.  Jaimee’ was worried of offending the poor girl but took a chance and offered her the handmade mask she had shoved into her purse (she’s made about a thousand so far). She told me that after seeing the look of gratitude on the young lady’s face she determined to always carry an extra mask along in case someone needs it.

I went to the drive-through at the local Dairy Queen last night to get my ice-cream fix and I noticed their masks looked like they were made out of thin, shiny fabric, the kind that is used to make cheap silky underwear.  My guess is that someone decided this was a perfect way to satisfy the governor and breathe at the same time, hence they are all wearing totally worthless but breathable face gear.  I couldn’t help grinning when I drove away.  Ingenuity.  It’s a wonderful thing.

I admit I’m one of those people sweating in panic thinking about covering my mouth and nose at the same time with anything, let alone three layers of heavy fabric.  Just writing about it makes me feel a little queasy.  So I gravitate toward the research that has “proven” wearing a mask is definitely more dangerous than breathing in whatever polluted air I happen to encounter when I’m out and about.  It reassures me so therefore it must be true.  But I will fight for your right to cover up your whole head if you want to, as long as you leave me to my own choices.  And I will do my best to scrub my hands raw, stay home when I’m sick, never touch my face again, and keep out of your space because I DO care about you. 

Hairband/mask

One of my co-workers, knowing my fear of masks, showed me her own bit of creativity.  She was wearing a stretchy headband. By simply pulling it down over her nose, it draped down to cover her mouth as well and hung loose to below her chin.  Again, not the N95 protection everyone is talking about but it should definitely placate the powers-that-be.  I promptly asked my daughter to sew me up a few.  I’ll at least give it a try when I’m at work.

I was told I probably qualify for a mask exemption since they freak me out so badly that my anxiety (one of the things listed by the governor as an excuse) is legit and severe.  But I thought since I’m the manager I really should try to set a good example to the employees.  Let’s not dwell on all the ranting I’ve done about it at work; there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind what I really think of all the hoops the government is making us jump through to reopen.  At least maybe I can set a good example in the facemask department.  My last hope is that hairband thing.  I tried on one of the cloth masks in my office one day and made it about five seconds before I tore it off and tried to calm down. 

I’m a little afraid, too, that some of my emotional upheaval has much deeper roots than a simple strip of cloth on my mouth.  Actually having something across my mouth is probably long overdue.  But I’m thinking maybe part of my problem is that I’m stubborn and I don’t like being told what to do.  I grew up in a very conservative denomination that had a great many fine qualities.  But I never got good at taking orders when the orders made no sense to me.  And wow, has this mask thing triggered me in a major way!  I find myself outraged daily to a much greater degree than warranted by the inconveniences being foisted on me by politicians that have priorities apart from my well-being. Frankly, I doubt they could care less whether I live or die, so what gives them the right to tell me what to wear?!  See, here I am all upset just thinking about it.  What it all boils down to is I like my freedom; I grew up in America and I like my freedom.

And one more thing: don’t assume that because I don’t wear a mask I don’t care about Grandma.  I believe Grandma should self-isolate until this thing is less of a threat.  I also believe that if Grandma is of sound mind she has the right to CHOOSE to not stay quarantined and to take her chances, assuming she is well-informed as to what she is risking.  We are all responsible for our own precautions, again assuming we are of sound mind.  Yes, I know, what qualifies as soundness is a matter of many differing opinions. Sometimes it just feels too much like we're marionettes being  yanked around willy nilly by people who think the constitution is just a bunch of suggestions.  

We may never agree on things but we can still choose respect and love for our fellowman. With or without a mask you’re someone God thought worth dying for.  Important for all of us to remember before we flip off strangers because of a mask.

I’m going to go do some deep breathing now.

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13